Finding Clarity On What You Want

Yesterday I talked about how a huge life transition in 2016 helped me reform habits that no longer served me. For a long time, I had very little awareness about what I wanted in life.

Having no awareness of what you want usually looks like this:

  • Not following through on promises (to yourself and others)
  • Playing small
  • Feeling out of control in many aspects of life
  • Playing the blame game for your circumstances
  • Feeling disconnected from your true self, while feeling you are forced to live up to everyone else’s expectations
  • Going through the motions in life in a robotic manner
  • No fulfillment when you reach your goals
  • Fearing failure and staying stuck in the same avoidance patterns

Sounds dramatic, I know. But I was pretty much fitting every one of these descriptions to the letter.

Maybe some of these things resonate with you. Maybe all of them do, which is okay, too.

I Had NO Awareness Of What I Wanted In Life

Having this new awareness of having no awareness previously was step one to change my habits so I could change my life.

The second step was figuring out how to development awareness so I lived life with intention and purpose.

That’s what it means to get clear on what you want. Asking for what you want. Going after what you want. For some of us, it’s the hardest thing to do. 

It was for me.

I bent over backward to help other realize their dreams, while shelving mine for that ‘someday’.

Life won’t operate this way. You’re either playing in it, or you’re benched. You can’t go at bat, strike out once, and decide to forfeit.

You have to go all in. Play your best, even if it means you lose.

Sometimes we lose. It’s part of learning. Growth happens when we lose, we fail, we get knocked down …

… and then brush off our knickers to go back at it with a better strategy.

What Are We Really Afraid Of?

Fear of failure is something I hear over and over again from women when it comes to reaching their health and fitness goals.

“I tried before and it didn’t work.”

“I always do well in the beginning and lose motivation.”

“It’s my genetics (age, lack of time, post-natal body, #fillintheblank).”

It isn’t really fear of failure.

We fear being judged. That’s the biggest fear we face as humans.

“If I try and fail, what will others think of me?”

What if no one is watching? What will you try then?

Will it matter if you hit the goals you said out loud, or will the journey toward that goal matter more?

Would your health and fitness goals look differently to you … would you have crystal clarity on what you want in your life and how fitness fit in if no one was watching?

If you are striving to have a certain body, who is that body for? Is it a body you feel society wants you to have, or one you truly want for yourself?

Will you find happiness when you have that body? Or will you find something else to not love about yourself?

You aren’t living in this world, in this moment, to live for someone else. When you live for someone else, you aren’t truly living. No one benefits from that.

Believe me, I learn this the hard way.

As we roll into the new year, put on your blinders, turn off the noise, and go after what you want.

Be tenacious. Be true to yourself. Keep promises that you make to you. Play big.




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